Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Texas Road Trip or Thelma and Louise on Holiday


Sooooo....
Ya know how you were
taught never go on a road trip
without your bail money.....
Good advice!

Well, here is the short version of the story.
Jennifer Slater
boss woman of
Simply Everything Boutique
and
kick butt queen of
Scentsy Wickless Candles
was going to Texas to receive
awards and chat up the top dogs
of that company.
The event was held in the beautiful
Texas Gaylord Spa and Resort
in Dallas
which just happens to be where my
grandson Alex
and his parents live.

As it turns out
Jen's husband got sick at the last minute
and she threatened and bribed me to go with her
so she didn't have to drive 28 hours alone.
(Actually she mentioned a free visit
to see my grandson and after assuring her
I couldn't possibly change ALL my plans
to go, I called back in a matter of hours to
say I was packing my bags!)
With a days notice we hit the road with everything we needed.
Well, almost.
Oh look! There is Jen with her driver's license!!

Too bad she left it HERE
on the way down to Texas.
Jen being Jen
had no interest in
having me choke the life
out of the employees who
stood picking their teeth
instead of calling our room
to let us know she had left it
on the counter.

No problem Jen says.
We'll just pick it up on the way back home.
Then Jen's wonderful plague ridden husband
called to say that
Jen forgot to put her
license renewal sticker
on before she left....
two months ago.
No problem says Jen.
They probably only care
about that in Illinoisssss... (Texan pronunciation) anyway.
I drop her off at her event where
she buys at least 6 of every single thing
they offered.
Everyone needs a purple Scentsy water bottle!!!

I head to the Evans house where we played puzzles and trains and read books and ate and ate and ate...
Then the call came:(
Jen had to rush us home because her son was having
a hospital size asthma attack.
We hit the road the next morning.
Now, I thought I was busy until
I got around Jennifer.
This gal honestly, really, actually, always
is doing at least three things
at a time.
Below you see Jen putting on make up....and talking business with me and...
Yes! That is her on the DRIVER'S side of the car.
See the ground blurring and the highway road outside her window?
I have yet to pry St. Christopher's white knuckles
off her dashboard.
Shortly after this picture the truck two cars ahead of us
sends a 4x8 sheet of plywood flying across
the highway. Cars scattered to avoid taking
it in their windshields, people honking, dust flying...
all while Jen continues talking on the phone
to the owners of Scentsy about
a crisis with crazy consultants.
We continue on, solving SEB issues
and juggling texts and calls every 32 seconds.
About midnight we are just 40 min. from our hotel
where they are holding Jen's ID hostage when....
Officer Friendly pulls us over in
Podunksville.
HHHmmmmm.....
53 in a 35. No license. Expired plates.
We start digging out our bail money.
Luckily, Jen knew her number because
the officer came back to the car saying
they couldn't find her in their system.
After a very long wait O. F. politely
gives her a ticket for only 10 over the limit
so her insurance won't go up.
Thanks...I think.
Jen PollyAnna says,
We're almost to the hotel. We'll check
on Andrew just a couple (50) more times
to make sure he's doing okay and we'll
get a good nights sleep and it will all
be better in the morning.
We pull into the parking lot

and look forward to getting a good nights sleep.
It just so happens that they are full up. Cowboy convention in town.
Seriously. That's what they told us.
They must have all ridden their horses in
because as you can see there were about 6 cars in the lot.
PollyAnna STILL wouldn't let me
kick the stuffing out of
those dim wits!
We are forced to head down the road another 4o minutes
to find another hotel.
In what seemed like an episode of
The Twilight Zone
we come to a bunch of hotels all blocked
by road construction.
The labyrinth lead us to a stop light
that must have been timed by the hour
and we pulled up just as it had changed!!!
Eventually we found our place and crashed until the AM.
We made it home safe and sound and Andrew is
doing better for now, thank God!
Reminder...this IS the Short Version!

2 comments:

Grandpa in Peoria said...

Aha! I can now comment on your blog, and the same for you! Comment as you please. I hacked your system and made the proper adjustments once I found out what was wrong with mine. I also disabled your word recognization security feature.

wicklessfamily said...

Oh my goodness Amy That is funny! All true and only about 1/2 the details which makes is more hysterical!